Helen L Hardy

Helen Lucille Hardy
December 6, 1925 - April 23, 2018

Helen L. Hardy was born in Newton, Massachusetts on December 6, 1925. She was the fourth and last child of Lillian Elizabeth Cobb and George Edward Hardy. Helen graduated from Newton High School in the Class of ’43 and worked briefly doing clerical work for the army. She was trained in stenography, which turned out to be a fruitful career. Sadly, in September of 1944 when Helen was just 19, her father died suddenly of a heart attack while chopping wood in the back yard. Then ten years later her mother died suddenly and unexpectedly in a fall in January of 1955, when she was just 29. She was not able to anticipate their deaths or say good-bye to her beloved parents. These tragic events affected her deeply and made her appreciate the loved ones who were still with her. Helen loved her sister Ginnie and brothers Howard and Malcolm. When she talks about being picked on by her brother, she laughs lightheartedly.

Helen married George Blackall Pettengill on August 1, 1945. Then on August 6^th and 9^th two atomic bombs were detonated over Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan and she described how terrible this was for everyone. Together Helen and George had three children Nancy, Susan (Vani) and Dick, between 1946 and 1954. In the early days they lived in Zanesville Ohio and then in a Quonset hut at Yale University with Nancy. Then they spent four years in Africa, two in Monrovia, Liberia and two in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, returning home in between for the birth of Dick.  In 1956 they returned home to the US and became active in the civil rights movement. Helen has always been committed to civil and human rights. Together Helen and George created a publication titled “An Even Break” and they served as test case couple in fair housing cases. The family lived in Hastings-on-Hudson NY, Arlington MA and East Northport NY.

Helen was a lover of nature, animals, children and music. In Hastings she would go into the attic early in the morning and watch the sun rise over the Palisades on the Hudson River. As a child she played duets on piano and organ with her mother and early on was imprinted with a deep and abiding love of music. At UU St Augustine she was the music person, choosing hymns and playing piano for the congregation. She always had animals, cats or dogs, and loved them dearly. The tender and vulnerable among us were safe and secure in Helen’s loving arms.

Whenever her children would come home from being away, she would have some delicious food ready for them to enjoy. She raised her three children with a kind of motherly love that is indescribable. She trusted them and trusted the world to take care of them. She allowed a great deal of freedom for experimentation and learning by experience. In 1969 she encouraged Dick, at the age of 15, to go to Woodstock and she put a hitch on the car so he could have a pop-up camper to sleep in at the historic music weekend! Around 1970, when Vani decided to hitch hike from Boston across Canada, down through California into Mexico and back, she did not give one word of protest. Nancy always had her good wishes as she went through her travels.

Summers in Helen’s family were spent in a beautiful spot in the Berkshire Hills on Goose Pond in Lee, MA. Sunning, sailing, canoeing and kayaking, swimming in the clear water, hearing our echo across the lake and enjoying time with her sister Ginnie’s family left many good memories.

If Helen had one fault, it was that she was “too kind” and did not seem to know how to say no. This could be frustrating at times, but some might see it as a wisdom that knew people have to travel their own path and learn their own way. She displayed compassion, understanding, integrity and love and believed that people would find their way to the right path.  

Following her divorce in 1969, she moved to Cambridge MA, and later Key West FL, St. Augustine FL, and finally Gainesville FL, where she lived the remainder of her life. She is the last to die in her generation and is survived by three children, six grandchildren, eight great grandchildren and three great great grand children. One grand and two great greats are deceased. She also has numerous nieces and nephews from Alaska to South Carolina and points in between.

Helen loved Vivaldi, Bartok, and Prokofiev, the jazz piano music of Bill Evans and Dave Brubeck and the vocal harmonies of The Beatles. She loved James Taylor, Eva Cassidy and so many others. She had and endless well of kindness and inspired everyone around her to be compassionate, non-judgmental and considerate of others. The one thing that baffled her in life was that people would fight and be unkind to one another. She would quietly look at strife with a shrug and a blink of an eye that seemed to say, “why don’t we just love one another?”

In her final years Helen experienced the gradual decline of her memory and cognition. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease and over the past few years lost much of her ability to function in the material world. Fortunately, her daughter Vani and grand daughter Sarah were able to care for her through the decline, living with her since October of 2016. Thanks to the generosity of numerous friends and allies, Helen enjoyed her life through the change.

The beauty of her life is that while she had some worries and struggles, she was always essentially a kind, happy, robust and generous woman who always had a smile on her face and love in her heart for every living being. Helen will be missed and remembered by all who knew her. The seeds of love she has planted on this earth will bear flowers and fruit for many years to come. Helen Hardy is a legend in her own time and will live forever in our hearts.

Helen always gave to causes close to her heart. The homeless families were especially important to her. If anyone chooses to contribute to a cause in her honor, feel free to do what makes the most sense to you.